Updated: Jun 14, 2020
I am at a crossroads, I have been here before. I sometimes wonder if I will be here again. My weight always in a state of flux.
This fluctuation depends on the time of year, the level of stress in my life, and how motivated I feel. But the one thing I always come back to is the sweat. Sweat is like my gauge for how well I am doing, and if I am working hard enough. No matter how much my weight fluctuates during those pesky lady weeks, the one thing I can be sure of is when I sweat, I know I am going to be lighter the next time my feet touch that icy scale in my bathroom.
When I first started my adult life, I was only 165 lbs, I'm 5'9 so that weight was distributed well. But I spent the majority of my 20's and now my early 30's overweight. My two pregnancies labeled at risk because I was obese, were uncomfortable and stressful. This was because of the judgmental looks and constant expectation from others that I was unhealthy. I gained 30 and 31 lbs, respectively, with my daughter and son. And although I brought two healthy kidlets into this world, the added weight struggle put it into perspective for me.
Every time I decide, this is it. This is the last year I am overweight. Then something occurs that gets in my way. The one thing that seems to get me closer to my goal is when I sweat until my shirt is sopping, till I can feel the drops dripping down my face. When I sweat so much that I can't even stand myself, that's when I know it's working. I recently explained my theory to my husband. Think of yourself as a round candle...when you light that candle and the flame burn, the wax melts down until the candle is thinner and thinner. Think of your sweat as the melting wax. It melts away to reveal a lighter, sleeker you.
My main goal is to go from my current mid-range (for me) weight of 208 back to at least 170. I am currently aiming for a rolling sweat for at least 30 minutes of walk-jogging a day to start. Every time I get a little faster and sweat a little less. So I have to go a bit further, but as long as I am sweating, I know I am playing the game the way I need to, to get to my goal. The tools I plan to use for this are my yoga pants, tennis shoes, headphones and music, my Jogging stroller and Fitbit tracker, and my headband and sunglasses.
When I started getting compliments, I decided ...don't get too big for your britches Vivi. I followed some weight loss friends on Instagram (Dredropsweight is impressive! I know her personally, and her journey is INSPIRING) and also pinned a lot of inspiring boards on Pinterest (check out MY board). And when I start to feel like my motivation is waning, I simply crank up the tunes in my favorite lists on Spotify and keep moving!