3 things I wish I knew as a first time Mom
When the Dr’s hand you that slippery little naked human that has been rolling around inside you, your life changes. There is no doubt about it, giving birth changes you biologically. Besides biology, becoming a mother can sometimes frighten and rewarding, and often a frustrating turn in a Woman’s life. So, what did I wish I knew as a first-time mom? Here is my list.
When I first became a mom, I wish I knew it was ok to feel lost but not to lose myself. No one knows where you are coming from. Your physical body has changed when you have your first child, but not only that, your emotions are everywhere. Overwhelming feelings can creep up at a moment’s notice and are brushed aside. No one expects you to sit focusing in on getting in-tune with you. But what I learned is; To make a real go at being a mother you must know who you are, and what that means against the backdrop of your new role as Mother. Take the time to figure out who you are, and who you want to be. Find out how that fits into being the caregiver and soul-nourisher for this new little person in your life.
Nothing has to be perfect, and it often isn’t. The actual view of motherhood often isn’t Instagram ready; there are always messes, spit-ups, tantrums, and late nights of sleeplessness. There are poop battles and lonely weeping in the bathrooms, and everyone experiences epic fails in their own way. That is the nature of the beast. When you are constantly comparing yourself to others and seeking these perfect examples of life and motherhood, you are making your hill so much harder to climb. You are putting you and your life at a disadvantage. Instead of comparing yourself with others climbing their own “hot mess” of a hill and embracing the ugly and often hard realm of being a Mom. Try to reach your own version of success and celebrate your unique wins.
Lastly, what I wish I knew when I first became a mom, and what I hope other Moms can learn from me, is to take the time. Take time and heal, take time to breathe, take time to find your calm, and take the time to become one with your new family. Use the time to get to know that little being at their baseline. Find the time to appreciate the life you just created and celebrate the changing world around you. And most importantly; Appreciate that you have contributed to a sacred role in nature- to give birth. Some don’t take part in this major role, some don’t care if they do or don’t, some contribute for another person, not themselves, some never will contribute, despite wanting to. To give birth is something you are gifted, and something that you have gifted to others. Hold it sacred and you will never squander it as a role you hold. If more people appreciated the gravity and awe-inspiring role of becoming a mother, there would be a better understanding of the world, and our role in it.
I hope this list helps any new mother zoning in on what you should be mindful of when you enter the wild and crazy journey you are embarking on. Let me know if you have any further thoughts and feelings about motherhood and Happy Mother’s Day.