This prompt was so so unplanned and yet so perfectly and sorrowfully timed that I can’t even believe it. Something that has made me cry could be easy for a person like me, overly emotional, wears her heart on her sleeve wimp, But the timing of this moment almost seems like a joke. The immediate cause for tears is not a sorrow that directly affects me. I have not lost anyone, nor been injured or had great misfortune befall me or mine (knock on wood as I type) The world at large has lost someone. An important someone. Even though he is in the entertainment industry and some feel that is a frivolous pursuit, I feel he was so much more. Our hearts are heavy and our minds are shaken at the news that we all received late yesterday that Robin Williams passed away. Processing the feelings: the shock, the anger that again people were posting celebrity death hoaxes, then the urgent need to locate the truth ( I have recently unplugged from my cable channels by moving my tv from the actual cable.), No. Not Robin! Then the out-pouring of love for the actor that brought happiness and laughter to so many for so long, after all he was a beloved person in the public limelight for nearly 40 years. (I mean that’s almost unheard of these days!) His massive body of work and heavily touted talent were next to be displayed, as people around the media outlets try to wrap their heads around what has happened. And then it hits; suicide. The death was not accidental, not murder, not illness or old age. This man, the one we all nearly grew up with as a favorite comedian, nanny, grown up pan, dr, genie, alien, teacher was no more. Suddenly and irreversibly by choice.
Heartache and tears, unexplainable tears, but this is just an actor right? Why am I cryingWRONG…he was a human being, and one with demons, one with a family, one with friends, pursuits and hobbies, one who for all practical purpose touched each of us if he ever made us smile or laugh when we were blue. He was human and so are we all. If he, who seemingly had everything, could have used a shoulder to cry on once in a while or someone to understand or even just an accepted moment to be down, could somehow show so much kindness to millions upon millions without expecting anything back then WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THE REST OF US? His energy is gone, and the light in his beautiful blue eyes is forever gone and we are all just a little less innocent in the fun world he created for us with his comedy and drama and messages that only he could deliver in that amazing voice of his.
I know I didn’t know him personally but then he didn’t know me, he didn’t know that when I was young I felt lost and so lonely I wanted life to come to an end too, whenever I laughed at his funnies or anyone else’s for that matter, I felt life was still too beautiful to be so bleak; for me life went on. When I was a teen dreamed of being an actress I always hoped and aspired that eventually I would work with his genius, he was one of my idols. When I decided to follow my hearts desire and come hell or high water and despite my poor skills become a writer, I could envision that one day I would write a character as worthy as those he chose to play. And as a mother of two I felt no fears or doubts about allowing my children to view some of his lighter funner works that livened our lives when we were little kids too.
There is a sadness in the loss, and a hope that he is now finally and at last at piece. And with a little luck, and humility, and laughter I will aspire to be a bit more Robin-ish: generous with my time, and loving to those I come into contact with. I will be a shoulder to cry on for anyone who feels they have no one, a heart to anyone who feels there is no love, and sounding board to those who have no one to listen. My plan and hope is that no one should feel alone again and if we all try to be a little more understanding of those we do not understand the tears that were shed today will not have been in vein.
Fare thee well, O’ Captain , My Captain