The isles stretched far in the distance. Long long rows bright colorful packages lining the tall shelves under the bright invading florescent lights. I have stepped onto the vinyl tiles that lay out before me and my palms begin to sweat. Colors and the shapes swirl before my eyes they dart back and forth trying to focus, but it is too late my head is spinning and the mixed smells of foods meet my nostrils, and soon my brain. The signals I receive distract me from my purpose and suddenly I can’t remember where the milk is or what I want to make for dinner, or even what my own hand writing says. What does that say? What did I come here for, do I really need to eat anything to live? What if there is an earthquake and I suddenly run out of food? I need to stock up! My mind is spinning and I can’t focus I walk the isles aimlessly until I feel as though I have been in the maze for hours retracing my steps, I reach out to the shelves and grab the first things my eyes can focus on and then rush to the register, I check out as fast as I can obviously sweating like a crazy person. The checker probably thinks I need to lay off the coffee, I feel sick, I get to my car and feel like I’m gonna hurl. I throw my bags in the car and buckle in, and let out a long long breath. My vision stops spinning, my eyes settle on the list in my hands. I forgot the milk. eh, I can live without cereal right?!
this is what used to happen to me during the period of time in my life when I couldn’t handle grocery stores*